PAINFULLY BIPOLAR (PART II)

Painfully Bipolar Part II

*He’s seated on his old recliner listening to his sound system. Groovy FM 89.2*

“I’m not happy here (nah), with her rather have you (yeah) rather have me too…”

Turns down the music volume….

I love this song, it tells a lot,

My feelings are so tied to the lyrics like a knot,

The neighbors next door could use this,

I don’t know if it would do as they please,

Better than the songs they keep singing,

It’s a paradise and it’s a war zone, my ears keep on ringing,

Maybe we all need pillow talk,

We all have issues we keep in stock,

Kind of reminds me of myself,

Wait, wait wait why does it all have to be about me… damn you self-centered piece of crap!!

You always play the victim…that’s not the story mate!

*Thumping sounds are heard on the other side of the wall. These walls are thin*

Making love gain? The sixth time today,

But nothing in this building ever sounds okay,

The neighbors always sound so angry,

Let me grab some food, all this thinking is making me hungry,

Meanwhile…..

Cliff: how in the world are you pregnant? For sure that’s not mine. I will beat the truth out of you right now. Who you been messing around with? My homeboy Trey? Lamar? Amir? Tell me right now!

Sasha: what do you mean who? I’ve been with you for 4 years now. I freaking love you so much. This baby might be the beginning of something good. I want an actual life with you.

*Sasha can barely stand. Totally bruised face covered with tears. Her make up ruined*

Cliff: I’m ….I'm sorry baby. I overreacted. We will take care of it together. I promise.

Sasha: please don’t leave me. Especially right now. I need you.

*Cliff embraces his girl like he didn’t just try to beat the crap out of her 10 minutes ago*

Cliff: I’m going out to buy more groceries.

Sasha: but don’t we have enough already?

Cliff: You questioning me?

Sasha: No baby no! I’m sorry.

*Cliff grabs his gun and heads out. He never goes out without his gun. Come to think of it he never carries anything other than his glock. Comes back home with plenty of stock. Balling? Amazing! He heads out to go grab “groceries”. Sasha nurses her own wounds. But still cries every time she’s in the shower*

That was some good grub,

Not my cooking, just an order from the food hub,

Reminds me of her cooking,

*Pulls out a picture from his pocket*

I always took cookies from your jar without anyone looking,

But little did I know if I take this cookie now one day I’ll do the time,

*Door knocked furiously*

Wow, guests!

Barry: open the door bastard. Didn’t your mother teach you manners?

*He opens the door*

Barry: your rent is 3 months overdue. I get complaints from your neighbors about loud music in the morning. Get your shit together dead beat. Fix everything or you’ll be sleeping on your dead mother’s tombstone.

*Barry the landlord leaves immediately. He barely spoke. In fact he didn’t say a thing. All he did was hear Barry’s bullshit stories. Come on now, won’t you defend yourself? He looks at the picture again*

Here lies your dead beat son,

I tried my best, to the best I can,

But what they fail to know is that I am human,

 Something understood by this affectionate woman,

It’s okay not to be okay,

Barry, Barry, Barry

Talks shit, walks shit and always in a hurry,

Little did he know his wife is out there hunting?

For love, affection and attention what all sweethearts keep wanting,

Barry goes out, harry comes in,

But I don’t this he is there to show his magic wand,

Which she really grew fond,

Or is he? Naughty Harry!

*Before closing the door Cliff meets up with him. Makes eye contact with him. But he is unbothered. So much sarcasm. How does he do that for Christ sake*

Cliff: whatchu looking at big head? Why are you gay?

*He shuts his door, not a single word*

Cliff: yeah you better! So weird.

*He lights up his fifth cigarette today. First smoke makes him cough*

There’s a story behind this filter,

There was a summer before this winter,

Sometimes I’m okay about it,

Other times I care less about it,

*Bipolar alert!*

My heart is emptier than my stomach,

I seat, listen to sad songs on audio Mack,

The pain of losing a mother,

The boomer was my all, I had no other,

But the blood was never the same,

She offered help when I was put to shame,

An orphan, a reject always felt like an outcast,

But the one woman who never saw me as cursed,

Shot dead at our backyard,

*The nicotine is starting to get the best out of him*

Damn! Those times were hard,

I remember I was sixteen,

Tried the smoke, loved the smell of nicotine,

But it was just never enough,

Married to the streets and fell in love,

Street rules say ‘no snitching’,

This rule normalizes killing,

What a wonderful world….

Gina: The cost is clear get inside Harry.

Harry: you sure he’s gone? Finally, my turn to have some fun.

Gina: aww my love I missed you so much. Why didn’t you call me today or answer any of my calls?

Harry: I told you, I had class today. Quite a long day.

*Gina pours wine on two glasses. What a mood she’s in. cover up for who? Harry is in for a treat*

Harry: Do you fancy starting a family with me? Forget that cheese cake of a husband.

Gina: come again?

Harry: I want to start a FAM…

Gina: I heard you the first time sweetheart. Chill bro! Are you nuts? And I thought alcohol makes me mortal. How on earth will a twenty two year old ‘Justin Bieber’ start a freaking family with a forty something year old “Madonna” or should I say “ ma-don’t know” start a family?

Harry: But love is the solution.

*sips wine*

Gina: so as salt water but do you see it trying to start a family? Shut up and please me before my husband comes back.

Harry: …

Later that evening….

*Sasha had been waiting for his boyfriend for hours. But he was stuck in her thoughts for hours and hours. So stuck that she came up with over 500 baby names to choose from. But where was his ‘king’?*

Sasha: it’s almost six, where the hell is he? Should I call him? Nooo he said he never likes being bothered but he is a really busy man.

*wow Sasha. Why are you so naive?*

*Sasha checks her social media. Unfortunately she cant take a good selfie because of that black eye right there. What she does find is a spammed link. It was actually a poem, “Iron Rose”*

Sasha: Hmmmmmm…..mmmmmmmmh…….heeee okay!

*hear that sound? That’s the sound of a woman learning, becoming strong. That needed to be feared*

Received text message….

Sasha: unknown number. Who the hell is this?

*A video was attached to the message. The message read “I can do better sis”. The video was cliff making love to another woman. This lady had guts. Nothing but guts. She recorded and sent???!!! Isn’t she scared of Sasha, better yet Cliff himself???This is interesting*

Sasha: After all I’ve been through. After all the….the….the…..the pain.

*Sasha weeps with so much pain*

It’s a cold world….

Barry: Honey I’m home!

To be continued…….

-Wayne-

PAINFULLY BIPOLAR (PART I)

Painfully Bipolar part I

*The mass has ended go in peace the lord be with you*

*And with your spirit*

He left without saying a word even before leaving the church gate he stood, lit a cigarette for a smoke.

Hey you, stop! The uniformed guard spoke, you can’t do that here, and it’s a sacred place,

Besides, you’ve received the Lords message, why the long face?

*Pus out his cigarette, stomped it furiously on the ground*

Ever had anxiety attacks? They hunt you like a hound.

I have nothing to say, I’ll shut up and be on my way.

Guard: yeah you better! So unclean.

You see the human nature is funny,

They can be night or they can be sunny,

Inconsistency is the word I’m looking for,

That prick judged me from what he saw,

But what about the background,

People see buildings from roof to ground,

Funny story inn ‘it?

*Stands at the bus stop, hands fixed in his pocket. Pulls out a picture. It’s an old lady with a big smile. Then he stood for a while. Lights another cigarette*

There’s along story behind the filter,

There’s a stream of tears to this delta,

Seated here in my feels for some reason,

Anxiety and depression, it is that season,

*Peep! Peep!*

*Bus arrived. Stepped in and walked towards the back seat. The bus was damn full*

Why are you all looking at me,

Can’t you all let me be?

We all have dark secrets in us,

No need to bring an unnecessary fracas,

That guy over to your right he looks strange,

Isn’t he too fat to be in a bus and not a range?

Guilty of tax fraud, money laundering and corruption,

When exposed the excuse was “no other option”,

The lady on the left, right there, look!

Owww boy she looks nice, bet she knows how to cook,

But lately she hasn’t been cooking the usual,

She’s off to sin in some place, such times are crucial,

But isn’t she young for this?

But such times it’s not regarded as a crisis.

It’s a free world my guy!

Ow ow and right there look at that guy over there,

He left the barber during after-hours and still came back with hair,

Hmmmmm….something doesn’t add up!

If I had bars id put it in a rap,

This guy takes advantage of young queens,

Over 100 victims and he calls it a win,

Should I report?

But it’s weird what this system can adopt,

A mere slap on the wrist and they call it a day,

The animosity is too much ya’ll need to pray.

And who…..who am I to speak?

Yet who are you to speak?

A nobody and his annoying conscience,

*He takes his seat. On wards the bus went. A long 3 hour ride*

Back at the project…….

Sasha: Oh my God. What am I going to tell him? He won’t take this lightly for sure. I’m scared. But I told him we should use protection. Why is this happening? I know he’ll force me to have an abortion. How did I end up with this guy? He hurts me every day. But funny thing I love him more every day. But…..but…. ow gosh! I can’t take another beating today especially now I’m vulnerable. I think I should….

Doorbell rings…

Cliff: open the damn door! Why are you taking so long, you have another nigga inside?

*cocks his glock*

Sasha: oh damn, let me hide this or else I’m dead. I’m coming baby!

Cliff: where is he? Huh! Where is he?

Sasha: there’s nobody here just me baby. Put the gun away.

*slaps her on her face*

Cliff: I hate being kept waiting.

*Sasha runs to the kitchen. Cliff throws his gun on the table and jumps to his bed. A pregnancy test result fell from the side of the bed. He noticed it. Two lines it was. He stood so long looking at it.*

This isn’t another “I got flower today” story,

This is a different kind of story,

It might get make you worry,

But this is what happens in apartment 315,

This is a different story,

The walls never hide the story,

The walls always speak, not as much as Tory,

But he listens, he listens to everything,

He knows what goes on.

The projects speak to him. But he ever snitches!

*Bus stops. He alights and walks upstairs to his home. Rugged apartment for starters. A lot always happens around here. Walks past Sasha and Cliff’s apartment and the noise is extreme. Reaches to his door, unlocks and opens*

Ah shit! Here we go again….

TO BE CONTINUED…..

The Skeptical Skin

The Skeptical Skin

I am a beautiful black child,

my thoughts are solid and my pride is wild,

no race can change that fact,

nobody will change how i act,

the reason i'm far behind,

is because they forced me to hide,

potential ready to erupt from my blood,

self-driven,strong, i'm like a flower but still a bud,

waiting for it's time to bloom,

my skin screams attention,definitely highest in the room,

i am a beautiful black woman,

my smile is bright, my skin is dark,

if Noah had to choose, you'd definitely be in his VIP ark,

elegant and strong beautiful than you think,

your mark is written on the book of success in bold black ink,

she walks with confidence on the runway of life,

a beautiful mother and a beautiful wife,

top ranks always want to employ her,

her competition trembles because she is brighter,

the world is skeptical about being black,

just because my hair naps you think it's whack,

races are skeptical about the black skin,

narrowed to discrimination and abuse because they can't win,

head some of them created a plague,

wiped out the evidence and shot us on our leg,

now some are out spreading hate on us,

calling us infectious am sorry but that won't pass,

attack the vulnerable who are locked in your borders,

why don't you pick on all of us? that's if you're stronger,

they call us cursed and a disease to society,

Bruce Wayne served with Hunter on a plate, Bon Appetite,

nice menu society!!

from calling us apes to beating us to death,

the black child can't be stopped, they will fill this earth,

I am a beautiful black child,

my attitude is fixed and my instinct is wild,

no race shall determine where i stand,

i give hope and prosperity wherever I land,

no one can tell me what i can and can't do,

a black soul is just like any other soul not a doll voodoo,

this won't stop if the labels are false,

black market, black magic and black sugar,

where do all these come from?The black man's Uber?

I deserve respect from the CEO to the subordinate,

I'm black,I'm not you,no apologies deal with it, let's coordinate,

My brothers and sisters on the other side you won't suffer for long, stand strong stand for your skin, you are away but not alone!

I am skeptical about your.......when they see us..........

-Wayne-